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Put Frustration to Work for You

November 22, 2010 Leave a Comment

Monday’s Mental Minute

It hadn’t been the best day, so I decided to jump on the elliptical to burn off some of the frustration.

Music always helps put me into a better mood, so I went to pull up blip.fm or Grooveshark on my laptop to listen to while I worked out but it was going into full meltdown mode (again).

I was 20 minutes into my workout before I could get a single song to play and even then it kept freezing. Needless to say, I got off the elliptical even more worked up than before–just a hair’s breath away from tossing the laptop on the floor and stomping on it.

I started to reboot and fix the problem in an effort to calm myself down (which may or may not have worked, depending on how it went and how much more time I lost from my day). Then realized…

Instead of trying to calm down, I should put all the frustration and anger to good use instead.

And I knew exactly where to channel it.

I hate confrontation, so all weekend I’d been sitting on an unbelievably obnoxious and insulting email from someone I worked with. Every time I thought about dealing with it, I could feel the stress building in my stomach.

But now, I was fired up and ready to defend myself. So I set the laptop aside and logged into my email on the desktop upstairs.

If you’re thinking, “Uh oh, maybe that’s not such a good idea…” just hear me out.

Once I penned a couple of the opening lines, I was immersed in looking for the evidence to defend myself point-by-point, which…

  • Started to calm me down because it shifted my brain toward logic and away from emotion
  • Also made me feel productive, which can definitely help ease frustration
  • Boosted my confidence, so her email didn’t feel so threatening

In hindsight, these effects aren’t too surprising since research shows writing provides a good catharsis for stressful events–even more so than talking through them.

Now, despite the mood I started in, I did not write a scathing, nasty reply. If anything, I was determined NOT to sink to her level. And the more I wrote, the more I realized I didn’t need to–the facts were on my side.

After hours of working, I had a long email that calmly responded to her ranting. I did send it to two business buddies to make sure I wasn’t out of line anywhere and they thought it was fine.

Best of all, I was calm by this point. I was also relieved to get a dreaded task off my plate and happy with how I handled it.

Tips for Leveraging Your Frustration
So next time you’re in a stew and ready to explode, stop and think about whether there’s something better to channel those feeling toward. For example…

  • A complaint email you’ve been meaning to send to a company
  • A letter detailing your frustration with a still-unresolved issue with your bank
  • Talking points you want to write out for a difficult conversation
  • Working through a problem that’s been bugging you in a journal

But make sure it’s a problem you need to tap the logic part of your brain for–something that’s completely emotional may only aggravate you further. And just spreading the misery around doesn’t do anyone any good.

Finally, make sure your tone is not hostile–that will simply boomerang and make life worse for you. So do have someone else read it before sending (or saying).

Now, with your mind clearer and calmer, you can relax or get back to work!

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Change Your Body, Change Your Mind

October 4, 2010 Leave a Comment

Monday’s Mental Minute

We’ve long known that exercise can make you feel better. But now it seems that regular cardio exercise can actually re-wire your brain to ward off stress.

Princeton researchers put one group of animals through a cardio conditioning program while the other group got to skip the aerobicizing. After six weeks, the exercisers’ brains were biochemically calmer and more immune to stress.

How Does It Work?

Remember–stress isn’t just mental. It also triggers the release of powerful hormones that kick up your blood pressure and heart rate. After all, the body had to make sure Fred Flintstone could get away from man-eating animals, or a ticked-off Wilma.

Apparently, a vigorous workout boosts the production of a Miracle-Gro like protein* that fertilizes brain cells to keep them healthy and strengthen their resistance to stress.

So, next time I think I’m too busy and stressed to work out, I’m going to remind myself how much more stressed I’ll be if I don’t. And hopefully, you’ll be inspired to do the same.

*The technical name is brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF)

Photo Source: Morguefile.com

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Under the Desk and Dreaming

September 13, 2010 Leave a Comment

Monday’s Mental Minute

It’s the quicker picker-upper that doesn’t come in a bottle or blister pack.

A 100% natural way to think clearer, reduce stress, learn faster, boost creativity, become more patient, solve problems, look younger and improve your health in too many areas to count–and there’s no crazy side-effects.

So what’s this drug-free wonder drug? A nap.

Far from being a waste of time, scores of studies show that a “power nap” can recharge your body and mind . As a result, you work faster, make fewer mistakes, gain insight into challenging problems, spark innovative ideas, and much more.

In addition, the Pew Research Center recently found that 33% of people surveyed who earned more than $100,000 a year had taken a nap in the past 24 hours.

I’ve been a big fan of naps since even before I knew I had narcolepsy–for boosting energy as well as mind-clearing and stress reduction.

In fact, naps offer many of the same benefits as meditation, without the meditating (which has never been my strong suit!).

Who Should Take This? Everyone.

There’s a reason most people get drowsy in the afternoon, about 8 hours after waking, even if they get enough sleep at night and don’t eat a heavy meal for lunch.

Research shows our brain isn’t designed to go all day without rest–although even then, it’s still churning away behind the scenes consolidating new information, clearing out the old and sifting through our mental files for solutions.

What’s the Suggested Dosage? One nap a day, every day.

While science overwhelmingly proves the benefits of napping, it’s divided about the details of when.

Nap time recommendations range from 5 minutes to 1 hour–with some pointing to morning and others to afternoon as the best time for a few minutes of shut eye.

In her book Take a Nap, Change Your Life, nap expert Dr. Sara Mednick explains the benefits of different nap lengths and even gives you a Nap Wheel to determine the perfect time for your nap.

I think this is the first time ever I’m recommending a book I haven’t read (my sleep-wake cycle has a mind of its own), but she’s done some impressive research and the book has received a plethora of good reviews.

Of course, you can also experiment and see what works best for you.

A Few Tips…

  • You don’t have to find a dark place–look at all the people who fall asleep on the beach–but you do need to find a quiet one where you won’t be disturbed. Or, there’s a free white noise application for smart phones and mp3 players you can use.
  • Use a timer or set an alarm on your cell phone if you’re worried about oversleeping.
  • In my opinion, it’s best not to crawl back into bed (too tempting to stay there!), but to instead lay down with a throw blanket on your bed, sofa or other comfortable place if you’re at home.

No day is so bad it can’t be fixed with a nap. –  Carrie P. Snow

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Organize Your Brain

August 20, 2010 2 Comments

Monday’s Mental Minute

organizing book for entrepreneursNo matter how much you try to ignore it, working in a cluttered mess can eat away at your sanity.

But some of us were just NOT born with the organizing genes of Martha Stewart. So trying to follow the typical organizing advice is like trying to hang framed artwork with poster putty…time consuming, frustrating, and success (if it comes) is very temporary.

Which is why I love Organizing for Your Brain Type: Finding Your Own Solution to Managing Time, Paper, and Stuff by Lanna Nakone.

At the beginning of the book, you take a test to determine your predominant brain type–Prioritizing, Maintaining, Innovating or Harmonizing. And then the chapters that follow give you organizing, calendar and time management tips for each type.

Tips I Found Helpful

For example, I can’t stand to put files that I’m working on away. No matter how appealing the idea of a clear desk is to me, I just can’t do it–to me, out of site is out of mind.

But while I may seem like an organizing failure to neatnik family members, it’s not unusual for Innovators. So, Nakone gives tips for keeping project materials, neatly, out in the open–so they’re always close at hand.

Still, I do seem to be allergic to filing of any type.  So stubs from end up in piles around my office (and house). I know you should keep them for a little while, but honestly, how often do you ever look at these things again?

I’ll admit, I was skeptical at first that any advice could help me. But she totally won me over when I read her advice to skip filing them and just throw them into an attractive box near my desk.  Permission NOT to file? That’s awesome!

Each December, I’ll just put the non-tax items in the attic for a year then toss them, which will be super easy to do since they’ll be clearly marked.

I know…

Some of you may be sitting there horrified at the thought of boxing your bills or having files on your desk. Don’t worry–Nakone has plenty of insights and ideas for your brain type as well.

Overall, Organizing for Your Brain Type: Finding Your Own Solution to Managing Time, Paper, and Stuff is a quick read since you only have to go through the chapter for your type.

So, if you have trouble getting and staying organized (like I do), I highly recommend checking it out.

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It’s Time to Get Real About Time

August 16, 2010 Leave a Comment

Monday’s Mental Minute

Being late always adds a great deal of stress to your day–you’re stressed on the way there , show up to where you’re going completely frazzled and then have to smooth over the ruffled feathers of the person waiting for you.

Unfortunately, I’m very familiar with the problem because I do it all too often!  Yet I know it’s better to be early–and with my crackberry, I could certainly find things to do while I’m waiting.

I also know part of the reason I’m late is “one more thing” syndrome–I just need to send this one email/check this website/print this document real quick before I go. And I’ve seen all the advice about just leaving early and preparing what you’ll need for meetings ahead of time, yada yada yada…

I’ve seen it all and none of it seemed to work for me because it ignored the biggest problem–my inability to accurately predict how long things will take. After all, it doesn’t matter if you leave 10 minutes early if the trip takes 15 minutes longer than you expect.

But here’s a brilliant tip I saw on Margie’s Blog for Bottom Line Secrets that I think is the key to unraveling this bad habit…

Learn to tell time honestly. Apparently, those of us who are always late tend to underestimate the amount of time things will take by about 25%.  So we figure it’ll take us 20 minutes to get there when it’ll actually take 25 (plus walking time to and from the car).

Maybe we actually did make it in 20 minutes once, but that was an unusually lucky day when we made all the lights. Or maybe we’ve just never really paid attention to how long the trip really takes. (The latter is probably more my issue!)

So her post recommends you make a list of all the things you do on a regular basis — showering and dressing, driving to your networking meeting, going to the grocery store, answering email and so forth. Then for a week, time how long each task actually takes you.  Afterward, allot your time for these tasks based on how  long it took on the slowest occasion.

Now that’s advice I think will actually work for me. And if you’re chronically late, hopefully you’ll find it helpful too. Because being late adds a whole lot of unneeded stress and strife into your life.

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Grow Your Brain with a Classic Video Game

July 20, 2010 Leave a Comment

Monday’s Mental Minute

Forget what mom said about video games being bad for you. It turns out that scientists from the Mind Research Network have found that playing old school Tetris(R) for 30 minutes a day can sharpen your brain.

And of course, a sharper brain translates into a calmer, more productive you.

The researchers studied one group of adolescent girls who played the video game Tetris every day for three months, while another group of adolescent girls did not.

Before and after MRI scans showed the Tetris girls had increased brain efficiency in areas associated with critical thinking, reasoning, and language and processing.

The Tetris girls also developed a thicker cortex (a sign of more gray matter). However, the thicker cortex was in different areas of the brain–areas believed to be responsible for planning complex, coordinated movements and multisensory integration.

So exactly how a thicker cortex and greater brain efficiency are related remains a mystery.

The researchers used Tetris because it requires many cognitive processes, such as attention, eye-hand coordination, memory, and visual spatial problem solving–all working together in a very short span of time.

On a different note…other research from Oxford University shows that Tetris may also help reduce flashbacks from traumatic events, if played a short time after the event, by competing for the brain’s resources for sensory information.

So I wonder if playing the game after less traumatic events–such as a presentation gone bad or big social gaffe–could keep you from painfully playing the scene over and over again in your head…

Given that 25-year-old Tetris is the best-selling mobile phone game and is available on nearly every gaming platform–not to mention, for free at www.tetrisk.com–it shouldn’t be too hard to find when you have some downtime.

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Outsourcing & Humor for Just $5

July 12, 2010 2 Comments

Monday’s Mental Minute

Hope everyone in the U.S. had a good holiday last Monday–sometimes there’s no better stress relief than a day off!

Today’s MMM resource does double duty–it gives you a place to outsource small admin or marketing tasks inexpensively and it’s sure to make you laugh!

Fiverr is a site where people list what they’re willing to do for–you guessed it!–five dollars. The more helpful offers run the gamut from virtual assistance to making audio recordings to creating an iPhone app for your website…pretty much anything you can imagine needing done.

Although, like anything, going the bottom-of-the-barrel price route means you may get what you pay for.  But then again, if you’re unhappy, you’re only out $5!

In categories such as Fun & Bizarre or Silly Stuff, you’ll also find quite a few offers  from some of the more creative community members–such as the one below…

Hey, you never know when that might come in handy, right?!

At any rate, whether you have a small project to get off your plate or just need a stress-reducing laugh, Fiverr is a fun site to check!

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Clear Away the Mental Distractions

June 28, 2010 Leave a Comment

Monday’s Mental Minute…

Small business owners and entrepreneurs tend to juggle a lot of to-dos, worries, ideas and more in their minds as they go about the day–I know I do. But all this extra junk bouncing around our brains makes it harder to focus on the task at hand and kills our productivity.

One way to brush all those extra thoughts aside when you need to concentrate is to use a mental technique from Maxwell Maltz’s book Psycho-Cybernetics called “clearing the calculator.”

  • Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to help calm your mind
  • Picture a big hand-held calculator–notice all the different keys and imagine feeling the calculator in your hand
  • Now take your finger and hit the “C” (clear) key and notice the big “0″ in the calculator window. Some people prefer to hit the key once, some prefer to keep hitting it until they feel they’ve cleared their mind
  • Then create a movie in your mind of where you’re get ready and doing the task you need to do–with each step playing out in your mind. See yourself working on the task and see yourself successfully completing it
  • Take a deep breath and get going!

Alternatively, you can use the image of erasing the writing on a white board instead of the calculator. This can be particularly useful if there’s a particular disappointment or frustration you need to clear from your mind–like maybe a bad result the last time you did this task–because you can write it on the board and see it getting erased away.

Either way, you’ll start your task with a fresh slate so you can maximize your time and effort.

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A Small Change for Big Breakthroughs

June 21, 2010 2 Comments

Monday’s Mental Minute…

It’s time to get into a new groove.

Literally.

Routines are great for making sure everyday tasks get done. But like a well-worn dirt road, the neural pathways in our brain can fall into a rut–nudging our thinking into the same groove time and again.

Sometimes that’s a good thing. Say, for a gymnast who practices her routine over and over and over again so her body knows what to do without her even thinking about it on competition day.

For entrepreneurs though, ruts can be a roadblock to breakthrough ideas and creative problem-solving. And over time, they can also zap the passion we once had for our work.

The good news is you don’t have to spend a week at a zen retreat to get your creative juices flowing again…all you have to do is shake up your routine a little by doing one activity you do everyday… slightly differently.

It can be as simple as having tea instead of coffee with your breakfast. Driving a different way to your child’s school. Having lunch outside. Changing what you do first when tackling a new project…

Because studies show that even small changes in our habits can have a profound effect on our brain–forcing it to form new pathways–which helps spark new ideas and inspirations and giving us an mental boost as well.

So once a week, get out of the groove and and see if you start noticing the results!

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Announcing Monday’s Mental Minute

June 14, 2010 1 Comment

It’s definitely not easy owning your own business these days–although I still say the worst day in your own business is better than the best day in a cubicle farm.

But as we know all too well, the stress can take a big toll, sabotaging your…

  • Health
  • Relationships
  • Thinking and focus
  • Creativity
  • Ability to get things done
  • And more!

So starting today, I’ll be posting a short tip or resource every Monday to help you destress or re-focus.

I’ll spare you the research citations, but laughter is a proven way to do both. So today’s Mental Minute does double-duty–it’ll should make you chuckle and feel oh so glad you don’t work in the corporate world anymore…Passive Aggressive Notes.

I’ve queued up the workplace category in the link, but there are many others as well. (Anyone who has ever had roommates will find plenty to reminisce about there too.) This is one of my favorites for a quick dose of humor…hopefully, you’ll enjoy it too!

Photo sourced from Passive Aggressive Notes on Flickr under a Creative Commons license

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