You are here: Home / Archives for Get a Clue!

Why “A Few Good Men” Has No Place in Sales Copy

June 23, 2011 Leave a Comment

There’s a time and a place for an in-your-face attitude–but it’s usually NOT in the opening of your sales copy. Well, not unless you’re selling spots to a boot camp led by Colonel “You can’t handle the truth” Jessup from A Few Good Men.

One guru who’s mastered the tough love approach is Dan Kennedy–especially later in a sales letter when he’s trying to weed out bad prospects. Done right, it sends the helpless whiners scurrying away and wins the respect of good prospects, who are usually sick of people like that.

But you NEVER want to blow so far past the gutsy line that you shoot into the obnoxious insult zone…especially early on in the sales copy when you’re trying to woo the good prospects.

Yet, I recently ran across sales copy from a so-called copywriter who did exactly that…

Sales copy example that insults prospects

This sales copy fails on so many levels…

“You are an Internet marketing failure.” Not you MAY be one, but you ARE. So the “copywriter” here assumes that everyone reading her copy is a failure.  Wow–that’s a great way to get someone jazzed about working with you.

“You are wrong” or even better, “You shouldn’t be in this profession.” That’s right, tell them they’re a complete idiot. Crush their dreams. Kill their confidence in their ability to make a good decision–it’s not like they still have to make the decision to hire you or anything.

This is why you often see something like “It’s not your fault” after discussing a string of bad move they may have made in the past. Then, the copy explains them why it’s not their fault…which is usually some form of “no one taught you any better.”  But guess who’s about to offer teach you better?

On top of that, they now know you understand what they’ve gone through AND they feel less guilty about their past mistakes…both of which help them like you and trust you.

“Whatever your excuse may be.” In another piece of copy, this phrase could potentially work. But here, it’s just more salt on the wound and implies she thinks there’s no good reason at all.

“You always have the opportunity to turn things around.” By this point, most readers have probably already decided to do exactly that–by leaving the page to find someone who doesn’t think insulting them is a smart way to get business.

Bottom line–it’s OK to be honest and even blunt at times. But at the end of the day, we want to do business with people who make us feel good about ourselves–and that usually starts with the sales copy.

Share on Twitter

If You Liked This, You May Like:

The Downside of Outsourcing Your Marketing…

April 22, 2011 Leave a Comment

We’re going to hope the person who tried to post this comment to my blog was an outsourcer and not the person behind the Grammar Checker website. But either way, it’s not exactly a good advertisement for your services…

And when you’re a small business, everything you do online is in some way, shape or form an advertisement for your services. If not directly, than indirectly–because it all makes an impression on your clients and prospects.

Avoiding Reputation-Ruining Outsourcing Mishaps

I used to be a mystery shopper for a restaurant chain up in Northern Virginia (yes, that was fun!) and I’m a big fan of using that approach anytime you’ve got people acting on behalf of your business–especially if they’re actually dealing directly with the public.

Luckily, you don’t need to hire an actual mystery shopper. In this case, the owner could check-up on the outsourcer by:

  • Doing a simple search for the name being used for blog comments–whether in Google or Bing directly or through blogsearch.google.com OR
  • Use
    Share on Twitter

If You Liked This, You May Like:

  • No Related Posts

How NOT to Do Postcard Marketing

July 10, 2009 2 Comments

Here’s a great example of what NOT to do with a postcard.

Postcards can be a very affordable and effective direct mail piece–done right. Or even mostly right. This one, however, is nowhere closHowiesPostcarde.

There’s…

– NO headline to get your attention

– NO problem or solution being addressed

– NO real offer being made

– Nothing to build credibility with anyone who hasn’t heard of them before

– And A LOT of wasted real estate

But perhaps most important is there’s no reason why you should call them instead of all the other pizza chains in the area except a logo that mentions being the original flavored-crust pizza.

What do they mean by flavored crust pizza? Without any other info, I could easily see a parent dismissing it as too “risky” for their picky eater or something else for siblings to fight about.

After a quick peek at their website, you see just how much they’re missing the boat here.

Their pizza is made fresh daily on site. They also offer baked oven subs and salads. Last I checked, none of the big chains delivered salads–which I imagine is a big selling point for many parents.

Of course, the lame “Current Resident” address and postage indicia aren’t going to win them any response points either.

But they did do two things right…

– There’s contact info (you’d be surprised how often people forget this!)

– And there is a call-to-action, although it’s a weak one

Still, with all the other important elements missing, they’ve thrown a lot of potential business away.

Share on Twitter

If You Liked This, You May Like:

Branding vs Direct Response Smackdown

July 6, 2009 3 Comments

When you’re looking to hire marketing help for your small business, you need to know where those folks fall on the branding-direct response spectrum.

Many agencies and consultants who spent their careers in super-sized companies have a clear bias toward branding and lack of understanding or even disdain about direct response that can be dangerous to to a small business owner looking to maximize her marketing dollars.

And this marketing article I came across today is a perfect example of that. In it, Gian Fulgoni, Chairman of comScore tells eMarketer…

Is the preoccupation with direct response partly a result of so many young people being involved in Internet advertising? DR [direct response] is immediate gratification.

Maybe they don’t understand branding. They don’t have a long-term perspective and they don’t have patience. They gravitate towards direct response.

Yes, the goal direct response is to prompt action. Last I heard–someone generally does have to take action to become a customer. (Unless you’re one of those telephone slamming companies.)

And an immediate response would be great–since the more time that goes by, the less likely people are to respond.

But the direct response rule of thumb says  it usually takes 7-9 (and sometimes many more) exposures to a company’s message before someone takes action. So yes, smart marketers want an immediate response, but also know it may not come the first time around.

And in the meantime…those messages can help build a RELATIONSHIP with interested prospects–and help cement their loyalty after the purchase.

Of course, it’s hard to build relationships when you’re focused on espousing one-way messages via traditional “branding” strategies…so who sounds more short-term focused now?

(And who doesn’t understand branding? We get Branding 101 lessons from the moment Mom puts the first Baby Gap outfit on us…)

Don’t get me wrong, EVERY business needs to do some branding in terms of how they position themselves.  But the vast majority can’t spend millions of dollars a year on ads that say “hey, look at us” and don’t ask for some type of response.

And he inadvertently makes my final point when he gives this example:

Let’s say I’m BMW. Do I want to reach a 20-year-old kid who can’t afford to buy a BMW today?

The direct response people would say, “No, don’t target with the Internet.” They would target those people who are about to buy a car. That’s one view.

Imagine that–trying to target people who might actually be READY to buy a car!

If you have money to burn, it’s great to be so future-focused. As a small business, I’d rather take the common sense approach with direct response marketing any day.

What about you?

Share on Twitter

If You Liked This, You May Like:

Copywriter’s Hit List — Lose It, Don’t Use It

June 12, 2009 2 Comments

…when it comes to the word “UTILIZE” in your marketing copy (or really, anything you write for your business).

First, a definition from good old Merriam-Webster:

utilize (v)–to make USE of, turn to practical USE or account

See a pattern here?

Twice as many letters and three times as many syllables add nothing meaningful to the word “use.” So just use “use”! (Or something more colorful.)

While some -ize words like “strategize” have moved into regular everyday use, -ize words in general scream, “I’m trying make myself to sound important.”

But it’s not about you. Simplicity and clarity achieve what’s really important–engaging your readers so they keep reading and ultimately do what you’re asking them to do.

So it’s definitely time to kill off “utilize” when it comes to your marketing copy (and take a hard look at other -ize words you may be using as well.)

Share on Twitter

If You Liked This, You May Like:

The Worst Headline I’ve Ever Seen

January 22, 2009 Leave a Comment

I had planned to write about something totally different today until I opened my inbox this morning. And the worst headline I’ve probably ever seen stared back at me:

You are born alone….You die alone….
What you do with that SPACE in between is your choice.
What will you do with YOUR space?

Normally, I would have seen this and hit the delete key. But a friend had forwarded it to me, asking if I was going to attend. I was so distracted by the headline the first time through though, I’m going to have to read it again to figure out what the event actually is.

But first I have to share why I think this headline is just so awful.

Fear is a double-edge sword. I learned that many years ago when I started working for a socially responsible mutual fund firm. They had pictures posted of previous ads featuring environmental wastelands and such.

And though they were quite attention getting, the company had learned the overwhelming bleakness of the situation caused people to turn off and tune out. And it didn’t help that the solution offered (the funds) seemed unlikely to totally eradicate the problem.

Can you get any more bleak than telling someone they were born alone and they are going to die alone?

Technically, the first part is wrong anyway, and I imagine it may rub mothers the wrong way.

She may be technically right about the physical aspects of the second part (we won’t discuss the morbid exceptions), but feeling emotionally alone in those final moments is a HUGE fear for people. How many times in movies has the crotchety old man made a miraculous transformation to avoid dying alone?

And now you’ve just flat out stated the nightmare is going to happen.

Bleakness overload. Time to turn off and tune out.

The next two lines are meant to be empowering…but “space” implies emptiness. Again, not a welcoming picture.

And worst of all, the ad is targeted at women. Maybe men wouldn’t react quite as strongly. As Marti Barletta states in her book Marketing to Women, “Many psychologists believe feelings of isolation and loneliness are at the top of women’s aversion list; even if men don’t like loneliness, women don’t like it more.”

That doesn’t mean you can’t agitate her fears of loneliness a little in your copy. But you’d better stop short of the “red zone” if you want her to keep reading.

Share on Twitter

If You Liked This, You May Like:

How NOT to Enter the Conversation in Your Customer’s Mind

January 14, 2009 Leave a Comment

There’s an old copywriting saw that you should “enter the conversation going on in the customer’s mind.” It essentially means if you lead off with something they’re already thinking about, you’ll be more likely to get their attention and keep it because the message will be more interesting and relevant to them.  And this isn’t just true about copy–it can be a powerful public relations strategy as well.

But there are good ways and bad ways to actually do this.

Right now Americans are still very focused on the economy and the ongoing announcements about various industry bailouts. Several companies have sought to leverage this, with various degrees of success. Since the bad are always more fun, let’s start there.

Tasteless PR Stunt. The ever so-classy Joe Francis (Girls Gone Wild) and Larry Flynt (Hustler) issued a press release earlier this month announcing their intention to appeal to Congress for a $5 billion bailout of their industry. (Which I can’t mention because of the dreaded sp@m filters.)  They’re getting some press coverage, but it’s mostly mocking them. And I’m doubtful it will have any impact on sales.

Advertising Gone Wrong. After receiving a $4 billion bailout from the federal government, Chrysler took out full-page “thank you” ads in USA Today, the Wall Street Journal …with the ad space itself probably costing about $500 million. So they were roundly criticized for the wastefulness.
Even worse, their marketing folks must live on Pluto because the ad thanked Americans for “investing” in the company with the bailout. Many Americans were quick to respond in colorful language that they certainly would not have bailed out the company if they’d had any say in the matter and were mad as hornets that their tax dollars were going toward it.

Note to Chyrsler: It’s really NOT a good idea to remind people that they’re paying for your mistakes.

And Now the Oscar Goes to…Overstock.com, who announced a Family Bailout contest in November where the company would pay off $50,000 worth of debt for one lucky winner. Any purchases between the contest dates automatically entered you (of course, an alternative entry method that didn’t require a purchase was offered as well). On January 5, a winner was announced…as well as a new monthly Family Bailout contest providing $10,000 of debt repayment to the winner.

The contest has gotten plenty of play in the press because they’re always looking for a new angle about the bailouts.  Plus $50,000 is a significant chunk of money– it wouldn’t have worked as well with $1,000, in the national press at least.

But it also got a ton of word-of-mouth publicity on blogs and forums because it tied in directly with what people were thinking about…the bailouts, the economy, saving money. Plus, some of the press mentioned CEO Patrick Byrne’s crusade for Wall Street reform–further underscoring his thought leadership in this area and spreading his message to a wider audience.

While it’s too early to see if the company’s sales benefited as well, the contest certainly helped increase top-of-mind awareness for the company during the crucial Christmas buying season.

So what are your clients and prospects talking about? And how can you tie into that?

Share on Twitter

If You Liked This, You May Like:

Who Are You? More Effective Marketing Starts with You!

November 6, 2008 2 Comments

When you’re crystal clear on what you bring to the table for your clients–and how you’re different from all their other options–marketing becomes much easier and more effective. So take some time to really think about and answer the following questions:

1. Who are you? As Carlton said after my first attempt at this exercise, “You are much more than your name and business name.” What did you do before starting your business? When did you start it and how did you arrive at the point you are today? All of that influences where you are today.

2. What do you sell? And who do you sell it to? Pretend you’re explaining what you sell to a sixth grader and you’ll avoid getting that polite glassy-eyed nod while the listener thinks, “What the heck does that mean?” Believe me, we’re all so close to what we do that you’re probably getting that reaction far more than we know.

A perfect example is the AFLAC commercials with the squawking duck. You never hear the phrase “disability insurance.” They say AFLAC sells insurance that protects and pays you when you’re too sick or injured to work. Not only will a sixth grader get what it is they sell, they’ll also get why someone would want it.

3. Why are you in this business? Something led you to go this route, what was it?

This one was actually tough for me because I had other intentions for my business when I first started. So I felt guilty–like this was more of my fall-back plan. I could have “fallen-back” into a lot of things though. But I went this direction because I was tired of seeing the entrepreneurs and solo professionals I was networking with turning off their prospects with bad copy and getting sucked into spending a lot of money on things they didn’t really need to market their business.

4. What do you do for your customers? What pains are you solving for them? What benefits do they get from working with you or buying your product? Why do they care if your product or service is any good?

Even if you’re selling a B2B widget, make sure to tie it back to what it does for the buyer personally. Because no matter what you’re selling, a human is doing the buying. For example, he can rest assured that the widget will integrate into his system perfectly, so he won’t be stuck there all night trying to debug the installation. Or he’ll impress his boss by how much money it saves over the course of a year.

5. What makes you different from others in your business that your customers would care about? Do they get insider info no one else can provide? Do you do it totally different from what conventional wisdom says? Have you done it for more people–or do you work exclusively in their industry?

For example, I’m working on a project right now where several other guides exist in my client’s topic area. A few come from other nurses but none of them tell readers the current research-proven best practices they should be getting.

Once you answer these questions, you’ve got the makings of a powerful new elevator speech or core marketing message. Just keep paring it down to the bare essentials!

Share on Twitter

If You Liked This, You May Like:

Actions Speak Louder Than Marketing Words at Verizon

October 3, 2008 Leave a Comment

Verizon Wireless is a perfect example of companies that don’t get that being a responsible company means being one ALL the time. Yes, they a nice little Corporate Responsibility section on their website where they tout their admirable Hopeline program, which provides phones and service to victims of domestic abuse.

But when it comes to find missing people, the company with the “most reliable network” is notoriously unreliable about helping law enforcement. Michelle Lamar over at White Trash Mom details three instances where the police have contacted Verizon for help and were stonewalled. And in one case, actually defended their actions to the grieving parents–with a barrage of lawyers in tow.

All the charitable deeds in the world can’t undo the moral failure of the company in these situations.

If you ask any woman why she has a cell phone, one of her top reasons is going to be “in case of emergency.” Why do they give phones to their children? Again, you’re going to hear “in case of emergency.” There’s a sense of security brokered into every contract.

That’s why wireless companies need to make sure they do everything possible to help when those emergencies arise–especially when the phone carrier can’t help themselves by making a call or giving a location.

Just as they have a plan for natural disasters, Verizon (and probably other wireless providers) needs to get its act together and create a plan to cut through the BS and quickly respond to law enforcement requests during individual emergencies–and then make sure all employees know what it is–so situations like these don’t happen again.

Share on Twitter

If You Liked This, You May Like:

A Proposal for Carefirst BCBS

August 29, 2008 3 Comments

Dear Carefirst Blue Cross Blue Shield,

I have a money-saving tip for you.

I’ve gotten 11 allergy shots in the past month and you’ve sent me 11 two-page Explanation of Benefits statements by mail. I’m sure my mailman is tired of delivering them and it annoys me that I now have 22 sheets of paper to file. And considering my insurance premium went up 14% this year, it really annoys me that you spent $4.62 in postage to mail all these individual statements. Why don’t you just send monthly monthy statements like everyone else in the world?

Let’s see, if you could have condensed those 11 individual statements into 6 sheets of paper–you could have cut paper costs by 73% and saved at least $3.78 in postage.

Even in the months I just get weekly shots (which is most of the time), you could save 50% on paper and spend 42 cents instead of $1.68 on postage.

I know it doesn’t sound like much, but given that you have 3.1 million members, if even 10% of those get weekly allergy shots like I do you could save $5.2 million a month on postage alone and save thousands of trees.

In fact, maybe you’d save enough to lower my premium or at least increase my prescription drug limit–which hasn’t increased at all in the past 3 years although prescription drug prices have risen more than 20%.

I’m just saying it’s something you should think about.

Share on Twitter

If You Liked This, You May Like:

  • No Related Posts
« Older Posts