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Sales Slaying Assumptions — Magic Powder Not Included

May 11, 2012 Leave a Comment

Demos are a great way to add punch to a selling process, so I stopped to watch a guy pitching his magic powder at a women’s expo a few weeks ago.

He made quite a show of dropping a pH testing solution into a row of cups that held various types of water and soda. Each one quickly turned yellow to prove they were acidic.

Then, he added his magic powder that turned most of the liquids a deep purple–while gleefully pointing out that Perrier is so acidic, it takes eight times the amount of powder to neutralize it.

At one point during his spiel, he said something along the lines of, “You know that acidity in the body causes cancer, right? So this powder will keep you healthy by neutralizing the acids in your body…”

That was his first fatal mistake. And it’s the same mistake far too many business owners make in their website and sales copy…

I’m not a doctor, but if preventing cancer was that easy, it seems we’d have much less of it by now. And even if it is true, it’s not a belief I had before he started. So it instantly sent my skepticism into overdrive.

Mistake #1: Any assumptions have to ring true to your audience. If you say, “Mobile marketing will bring you a flood of sales” but brick-and-mortar guy barely uses his cell phone, you’re assuming a fact not in evidence.

Then he compounded his mistake by taking it further…

Mistake #2: You can’t build a logical argument off a questionable assumption. You probably learned the basics of logic in school, although it may have looked scarily like this:

IF x = y AND y = z, THEN x = z

I’m sure you don’t go around citing the equation, but you probably use it all the time. It’s a simple way to bridge people from something they know is true to something we want them to believe is true.

“You like tuna sandwiches, right? Well, this is a tuna roll. So you’ll like this too if you just give it a try.”  (Good luck with that one! LOL)

But if the child hates tuna sandwiches, the argument is useless.

In magic powder guy’s case, IF I agree that too much acidity causes cancer, he just has to show his product eliminates acidity from what I eat and drink, THEN I’ll believe his product prevents cancer.

Since I didn’t believe the first assumption, the rest of it didn’t matter.

Now, just to clarify, I asked him point blank, “So you’re saying this powder helps prevent cancer.”

Mistake #3: He said yes. He’s damn lucky I wasn’t with a federal agency! You cannot make health claims like that without oodles of proof. That’s why health claims are usually carefully worded, with some kind of disclosure statement nearby.

It’s the same with brick-and-mortar guy. If he doesn’t believe mobile marketing increases sales, it doesn’t matter how great your system or offer is, he’s never going to believe it will work for him.

You must either start with an assumption he agrees with or enter the facts into evidence before going any further. Otherwise, your claims will be unbelievable and the prospect won’t trust you.

What assumptions does your copy make? (Assumptions may be unspoken too–you assume they believe it, so you don’t even mention it.) And are you sure your prospective customers believe them?

 

 

 

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Copywriter’s Hit List–Excellent Customer Service in Sales Copy

October 6, 2011 1 Comment

pin down specifics in your sales copyMind you, I have no problem with excellent customer service itself–my beef is with businesses always wanting to claim that they provide excellent customer service in their sales copy.

It’s kind of like the boy who cried wolf–so many businesses say it but few truly deliver, so customers don’t believe it when they see it these days.

In fact, a study from American Express showed 60% of consumers feel businesses aren’t making customer service a high priority.  And only 29% of U.S. consumers said their recent shopping experiences exceeded their expectations. (I’m actually surprised it was that high!

Be Specific to Be Believable in Sales Copy

Whenever I’m writing copy for a client, I quiz them about what they mean by “excellent customer service” or search their marketing materials to find something specific to say. Occasionally, I do find wows we can use to really set them apart from the crowd…

For example…

Buried in a lengthy marketing presentation for a web design business was a bullet about having 24/7 support center with U.S. operators. Hello! A huge frustration for business owners these days is calling into a support center and getting someone with minimal grasp of the English language.

It’s even worse when your website is down, you’re clueless about web stuff to start with and you know you’re losing sales. (His business does a lot of e-commerce sites.) So this was potentially a HUGE deal to his prospects and should definitely be featured in his sales copy!

But often, the client can’t come up with any good examples or they cite the typical fluff stuff (e.g. we’ll answer their calls and emails as soon as we can…as if that’s reassuring to someone about to give you their credit card!). And when I ask how that’s different from their competitors, they acknowledge it isn’t.

I then try to pin them down for some kind of specific–saying you’ll answer customer emails within 24 hours at least tells them something tangible, which is ALWAYS more believable.

Of course, the competitor is probably using the lame general “excellent customer service” line in their sales copy, so the client still comes out ahead!

Bottom line, kill the platitudes like “excellent customer service.” Instead, tell them exactly what that means and your copy will be stronger and more persuasive–without hype!

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A-List Email Copy for Your Business

September 23, 2011 Leave a Comment

email copy for autorespondersRecently, I had the chance to write email copy for an A-list copywriter– a series of 3 autoresponders to convert one-time buyers into monthly subscribers for a new membership site.

Well, he loved the copy so much, he decided to replace his own emails with my series.

So, I thought it would be fun to share some insights from the email copy I came up with.

The Autoresponder Series

Here are the emails in a nutshell :

Email 1: Hybrid Email to combine a stick email, which makes the reader feel good about completing their monthly payments for product #1 (the membership), with a pitch email urging them to sign-up for product #2 (the monthly training) right away.

Email 2: Story Email to entertain readers (with a purpose) before leading into a pitch focusing on one part of the training.

Email 3: Song Lyric Email to get attention, inspire urgency and build rapport with readers–any generation X or baby boomer should recognize this phrase from a popular ’70s break up song.

Of all the email copy, the second was by far the hardest because I had to find a good story. And what I did find, about a 19th century cookbook author, was not a simple intro-struggle-conclusion type of story–it needed quite a bit of finessing.

Personally, the third email was my favorite. The idea was pretty much instantaneous–the song lyric  popped into my head every time I thought about the project. It also gave me the theme of a break-up to play off of.

Email Copy Insights for Your Own Autoresponders

There are a number of great ways to put an autoresponder series to work for you. So, here are a few tips for writing your own killer email copy . . .

  • Highlighting how the second purchase will enhance the value of the first without devaluing it is important in a hybrid stick/pitch email . For example, you definitely don’t want to imply they need the second product to use the first, or you could lose a customer for good.
  • Conversational style is key. He liked that my emails were “chattier”–writing like you’re talking to the reader over a cup of coffee builds the all-important know, like and trust. (This does not mean long-winded though!)
  • Hunt down a good story by starting with the end and working backward. What benefits do you want to emphasize? What else might involve a struggle similar to your prospects’? Brainstorm and Google to see what you can find.
  • Pare unwieldy stories down to the essentials without losing any of the compelling details for maximum oomph. I literally spent days reworking this one, but I also had historical accuracy and the faint mustiness of a Victorian heroine to contend with.
  • Shift smoothly from story or song lyric to pitch by finding a common thread that ties the story and product together–a threat that will matter to your audience. Because if it feels like you’ve suddenly slapped an ad onto the end, the reader will bail.
  • “Pay off” the subject line. You can’t use a catchy subject line and leave readers hanging in the email. Somehow,you must justify the subject line in the email copy, preferably early on, or they could feel confused and/or deceived.
  • Continue weaving a theme through until the end, instead of dropping it when you get to the pitch, to maintain flow and reader interest.
  • Whatever creative elements you add (story, song) must be a good fit for your audience. The cookbook author’s story was also quite entrepreneurial (like these readers) and I knew the song matched the demographics.

Have tips of your own? Share them below!

I expect to be pretty busy after word gets out about the emails I did for this A-list copywriter. But right now, you can get a series of 7 business-boosting emails at my current rate of just $500 or a shorter option of only 3 emails (which I don’t usually offer) for only $250.

(I guarantee these rates will be available through the end of the week. But after that, they’re subject to change at any time.)

To get your sales-boosting email copy, sign-up through one of the secure shopping cart links below:

>>> Sign-up for a Series of 3 emails

>>> Sign-up for a Series of 7 emails

If you prefer to receive an invoice with a payment link, or have any questions, you can email me instead at appt at compellingcomm.com.

Either way, I’ll email you after you sign-up to schedule a phone appointment so we can discuss the details of your new email copy!

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Get Them to Act NOW, Not Later! (Last Chance to Save 37%)

August 23, 2011 Leave a Comment

urgency in sales copy with The Sales SuperchargerMore than 97% of visitors who are interested in buying from or hiring you decide to “come back later” but never do!

Discover quick and easy strategies to save those lost sales and get more prospects to buy now in my brand new program… The Sales Supercharger – Tweak Your Offers to Turn Procrastinators into Buyers in Less Than 15 Minutes!!

It come with The Sales Supercharger Report, Workbook and Samples–and all are available at the low introductory price of only $17 through 12 midnight EST tomorrow night (Wednesday, August 24th).

There’s also a special Fast Action bonus for the first 50 customers too…

So hop on over to find out how to easily and believably boost the urgency in your sales copy to get more sales and more customers NOW–while it’s still 37% off!

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How Can a Productivity Website Be Non-Productive?

August 23, 2011 1 Comment

A lot of people seem to think that when I do a sales page or website review, I only look on the actual words on the page. But nothing could be further from the truth

In fact, my Sales Copy Investigation page talks about how copy is just one of four key areas I look at–the other three being marketing strategy, offer and formatting–because ALL of these are critical to maximizing your sales.

So, yesterday I went to check out the a website for productivity products I read about in the Levenger catalog. (Love that store!) and I was a bit shocked–it definitely wasn’t their website that got the store’s attention.

Now, when you first land on the Action Method site, it doesn’t seem too bad. “Capture tasks, collaborate and get organized with Action Method” isn’t the most attention-getting headline in the world, but you do get the gist of what the site’s about.

website review action method productivity application

The “A suite of products, always in sync” subhead along with a big graphic image showing the app on a variety of devices tells you how they think they stand out from the crowd.

But is that much of a differentiator these days?

What’s the Strategy, Kenneth?

After all, a ton of task managers come in online and mobile versions. What IS different is they have paper products too–you’d be surprised how many people are sticking with or going back to good old pen and paper these days. But those aren’t included in the image.

There’s also nothing about how the purpose of the Action Method is to make everything a task and focus exclusively on tasks.

While it’s not good to get philosophical on your home page, right now, there’s nothing that explains what sets Action Method apart or why it might work for someone who’s failed at keeping up with other solutions before–which is very  likely with this type of application. (And yes, I speak from experience here. LOL)

The Method Behind the Madness

Scrolling down the home page, there’s an interactive graphic that shows you features of each format. But you still don’t get any sense of what the Action Method IS–how it works and how you can use it to simplify your task management.

website review screenshot 2 for action methodUnfortunately, that doesn’t improve as you go through the site.

I searched for a FAQ, which is buried in teeny type at the bottom under a lot of other gunk. Yes, gunk, because 95% of it has to do with the company’s other products and services and clicking the links takes you away from the Action Method site.

And what IS there about this product doesn’t inspire confidence. I perked up to see the fourth item about a 48-hour August sale in the News and Blog listing on the lift there. Too bad it’s from 2009.

website review screenshot 3 action method productivity application

Also, the FAQ takes you to a support area where two of the top three Tips & Tricks listed on the front page are “DOA?” and “Anyone still around?” Nice.

If you dig around for awhile, you’ll find a couple of pages on the company’s blog (not the product blog listed in the top navigation, another blog the company has) that talk about it. But again, they don’t really explain how it’s supposed to work in simple 1, 2, 3 terms–it’s more of a theoretical overview.

Make ‘Em an Offer They Can’t Find

The blue “Sign Up” button near the top of the home page takes you to a page that kind of asks you for your email and password.

I say “kind of” because there’s no call to action in text–just a couple of boxes with the words “email” and “password” inside of them. Which wouldn’t be so bad if the boxes weren’t black-on-black, blending right into the black page. If you just hit the big blue “Continue” button, then red bubbles pop up telling you those fields are required.

There’s also no mention of price. Is it free? That’s fine–just say that here.

But if you…

  • Go back to home page
  • Click on “Learn More” under the Online option
  • Click the “Get Started” button on the Online page
  • THEN you get a page that discusses pricing

Now, I have no problem with applications that charge a fee, but burying your pricing is NOT a smart thing to do. You’re going to get some unhappy folks who sign-up first and then find out they don’t get full access for free.

Last I checked, annoyed is never a good way to start a long-term relationship.

Your offer should be crystal clear with a strong call to action that not only tells them exactly what to do, but gives them a believable reason to act now–before they leave the page and never return.

In this case, just flat out telling them to give the free version a try would be a big improvement because then you could follow-up by email–reminding them to actually use it and upselling them to a paid account.

Wrapping Up…

In short, the Action Method site needs to work on all four key areas…

  • The strategy–especially regarding differentiation
  • The formatting–like clearing away all the gunk at the bottom and creating a sensible navigation
  • The offer–actually making a clear offer and giving them a reason to buy now
  • The copy–communicating all those things plus what the system actually IS in a more appealing, persuasive way to their audience

play buttonWant your own (much more in-depth!) website review? Sign up for a Sales Copy Investigation! Or find out how to make killer offers with the last day of introductory pricing on The Sales Supercharger!

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What NOT to Add to an Email Subject Line

July 27, 2011 Leave a Comment

Landing page research firm Marketing Sherpa is known for their terrific stats on what works best in sales copy, email marketing and more. They offer a pretty pricey subscription to access everything on the website, but non-subscribers can get free access to articles for a limited time.

Since a recent survey of non-subscribers had shown 68% didn’t know how long the free access lasted, they decided to test if adding the article’s expiration date in the email subject line would improve response…

Seems like a no-brainer, right?

Because in general, adding some form of believable urgency to an offer boosts response–often quite a lot. (In this case, the subject line is offering great info inside.)

But not this time. After 10 weeks, they reviewed the data and found that adding the expiration date to the email subject line had the OPPOSITE effect…

Slightly decreasing open rates and clicks versus the same exact email subject line without the expiration date.

As I’ve said before, people aren’t always rational and what works doesn’t always make sense. It could be the recipients thought they had less time than they really had, so seeing the real date made them more likely to procrastinate. Who knows.

Of course, just because it didn’t work for Marketing Sherpa doesn’t mean adding a deadline to your subject lines wouldn’t work…

Bottom line–with email subject lines (or anything!), it’s good to start with rules of thumb, but always test, test, test because nothing works 100% of the time.

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Why “A Few Good Men” Has No Place in Sales Copy

June 23, 2011 Leave a Comment

There’s a time and a place for an in-your-face attitude–but it’s usually NOT in the opening of your sales copy. Well, not unless you’re selling spots to a boot camp led by Colonel “You can’t handle the truth” Jessup from A Few Good Men.

One guru who’s mastered the tough love approach is Dan Kennedy–especially later in a sales letter when he’s trying to weed out bad prospects. Done right, it sends the helpless whiners scurrying away and wins the respect of good prospects, who are usually sick of people like that.

But you NEVER want to blow so far past the gutsy line that you shoot into the obnoxious insult zone…especially early on in the sales copy when you’re trying to woo the good prospects.

Yet, I recently ran across sales copy from a so-called copywriter who did exactly that…

Sales copy example that insults prospects

This sales copy fails on so many levels…

“You are an Internet marketing failure.” Not you MAY be one, but you ARE. So the “copywriter” here assumes that everyone reading her copy is a failure.  Wow–that’s a great way to get someone jazzed about working with you.

“You are wrong” or even better, “You shouldn’t be in this profession.” That’s right, tell them they’re a complete idiot. Crush their dreams. Kill their confidence in their ability to make a good decision–it’s not like they still have to make the decision to hire you or anything.

This is why you often see something like “It’s not your fault” after discussing a string of bad move they may have made in the past. Then, the copy explains them why it’s not their fault…which is usually some form of “no one taught you any better.”  But guess who’s about to offer teach you better?

On top of that, they now know you understand what they’ve gone through AND they feel less guilty about their past mistakes…both of which help them like you and trust you.

“Whatever your excuse may be.” In another piece of copy, this phrase could potentially work. But here, it’s just more salt on the wound and implies she thinks there’s no good reason at all.

“You always have the opportunity to turn things around.” By this point, most readers have probably already decided to do exactly that–by leaving the page to find someone who doesn’t think insulting them is a smart way to get business.

Bottom line–it’s OK to be honest and even blunt at times. But at the end of the day, we want to do business with people who make us feel good about ourselves–and that usually starts with the sales copy.

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Write Faster & Better Without Your Inner Critic

May 9, 2011 1 Comment

When you write, do you edit as you go? So you write a couple sentences, then change your mind and and decide you want to say something else instead?

If so, it’s time to stop!

Because each time you stop to muck around with what you wrote, you’re breaking your train of thought, slowing yourself down and potentially wasting your time. After all, how often do you decide to just scrap that sentence or section later because it’s repetitive or doesn’t fit?

It’s far better to turn off your inner critic and keep going with the flow  until you’ve finished a first draft, take a break and then edit because…

  • Your writing will have more energy and momentum (so it’ll be easier and faster to read)
  • You won’t risk losing the ideas you had by breaking your train of thought
  • You won’t finish the first draft drained and frustrated about how long it took
  • The editing will be faster and easier too–because you’ll come at it fresh and know what the entire picture looks like

In fact, forget writer’s block–your inner critic is your worst enemy when it comes to writing well and fast.  Stop, start, stop, start–this isn’t a good way to do anything, much less write something

So how do you turn off that urge to keep tinkering with each sentence and keep moving forward with your draft?

Here are two tricks I’ve found that can help…

Highlighting.  It only takes a second, but highlighting the word or section you’re concerned about to come back to later helps your brain relax and let go of it for the time being.

When you’re done writing, just look for your highlights. If you don’t have time to re-read the whole thing, at least you’ll know you fixed the trouble spots.

It still takes some discipline to go this route though. So, if you’re struggling to stay focused and on track, then the second, more drastic trick may be a better solution…

Invisible writing. (No lemon juice required!)  Next time you’re struggling to turn off your inner critic, simply change the font in your word processing program to white. Yes, white. Then, start typing.

Voila…you’re much less tempted to edit what you can’t see!  If you’re really hard core, you still may try to edit as you go occasionally (I’ve found myself counting spaces back to fix something at times) but you will dramatically reduce your editing and backtracking.

Warning–check occasionally to make sure your fingers are hitting the right keys . The good news is if you do somehow get off track, you can easily figure out which keys you meant to hit and do a search and replace. But, better to catch yourself sooner rather than later.

When you’re done, simply highlight the text and switch the font back to black.

Regardless of how you turn off your inner critic, it’s best to take a break and do something else before editing. Your brain will be sharper so the process will go faster and more smoothly.

And there you have it–two deceptively simple techniques that will help you write better and cut the time you spend overall on writing and each piece!

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Copywriting Tips — Get Off That Barstool

April 1, 2011 Leave a Comment

copywriting isnt just like sitting on a barstool Maybe you’ve heard the advice to “Just write like you’re sitting on a barstool next to them having a conversation.”

That is a good start. If you can do that, you’ll definitely write more like you speak and less like you’re trying to impress a college professor, which is how many of us were taught to write in high school English class.

But it neglects one itty bitty detail…You’re NOT sitting on a barstool next to them.

When you’re talking to someone in person, what you see and hear helps you understand what they’re trying to say. You can also see and hear if they’re “getting” it.

Even more important, those audio and visual cues help you “click”–and make it much easier to build rapport for two reasons…

  • We got a lot of meaning out of those cues–the look on someone’s face, their tone of voice, gestures to show when they’re transitioning to a new point
  • We usually automatically adapt what we say and do based on who we’re talking with…after all, you wouldn’t tell a story to your spouse exactly the same way you would to an old friend from high school

And if you don’t believe me, give online dating a try.

From the awkwardness of those first messages to how easily they can take what you said the wrong way (and vice versa) to meeting someone in person who turns out to be totally different than they seemed online–

You’ll learn pretty fast how hard it really can be to communicate and connect with someone via the Internet or other impersonal medium…

In short, the barstool advice only gets you part of the way. You still need to go back through and edit your copy to reflect the fact that you’re not right there and people are reading it.

Here are four ways to do that:

Cue them with transitions. Sometimes we jump around when we’re talking–change the topic without warning, or go back and forth about various points. Often, our body language or voice gives people a heads up so they can follow along. But when you’re writing, using transitions will help prevent confusion and give your copy more flow.

That means using words and phrases to cue the reader, such as: next, then, also, to start, on a similar note, on the other hand, but, in summary, and overall. If you have a list of points, numbering them helps as well–such as first, second, and finally.

Paint a picture in words. As the old journalism adage goes, “Show, don’t tell.”You don’t need (or want) paragraph-long descriptions in flowery prose. But you do need to give some context for what you’re saying.

For example, instead of saying your service will be profitable for them for the umpteenth time, paint a picture for them of the watching the sales roll into their inbox. And, give the features along with the benefits to make what they’re getting more tangible. The more they can “see” it, the more they will truly get it.

Root out possible offenders. For one, you want to change any “you should have” or “but you don’t won’t”– anything that looks like you’re blaming them for their situation. And if you’re listing all the ways they could have gone wrong or failed before, make sure you tell them it’s OK–they didn’t know better at the time.

You need to know what your target market may be sensitive about as well. Like the marketing-to-women campaign I was working on once, where someone had inserted a line telling financial advisors to make sure to tell women prospects to bring their husband to the appointment.

I understood why they wanted to say it. But I also knew phrasing it that way would be a disaster, since many women prospects would interpret it as “We know your husband is the real decision-maker” and head for the hills. Little tweaks can make all the difference.

Speak the customer’s language. You won’t be able to see when they’re nodding off or when they’re confused about something, so you have to make extra effort to ensure you’re speaking their language and explaining anything they may not be familiar with.

Overall, it’s ok to start out on that barstool–but make sure you go back and approach your copy like a reader, instead of just a listener.

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Website Navigation That Sells A Better Life

March 22, 2011 1 Comment

I stumbled across the Shaklee site while doing some research the other day and noticed something pretty cool in their website navigation…


Now, most people don’t give much thought to the wording used in the navigation of their website. But navigation copy plays a BIG role in getting visitors to clickthrough to your take-action pages.

Whether it’s buying, hiring, joining, partnering, interviewing you or whatnot–if they don’t find that page, they can’t do it.

So your navigation copy has to…

a) instantly tell them that you have what they’re looking for AND

b) clearly show them where to go to find it

Otherwise, they’re gone in a heartbeat because people just don’t have the patience these days to click all over or pick up a phone and call.

When I came across this site a few weeks ago, they had set up 3 landing-type pages to promote joining the Shaklee network.

That’s definitely smart–you should have different versions of landing pages set up, each one targeting a different audience or focusing on a different appeal–but many savvy companies do it.

What was unusual is that they had created a link to each of those landing pages in their website navigation, using the page’s headline…

  • Live the Dream. Share the Dream. Drive the Dream.
  • Live Your Best Life, Starting Today
  • Live Life on Your Terms

(It seems they decided, sometime between when I found the page and posted this, to link all of these to the Income Opportunity page, except you have to click on that page first for it to work–a convoluted and dumb thing to do. But let’s pretend they didn’t screw it all up… )

After all, they could just say “Join Shaklee” like a lot of similar sites probably do. It’s straightforward and to the point–you definitely know what you’re going to get when you click on that.

But instead, they use aspirational appeals–talking about how great their life will be if they join. And by using three different ones to boot, they’ve significantly upped the chances a visitor will find one that resonates.

Pretty clever. And definitely different.

But here’s my question:

Is the headline-like wording better than simpler benefit-driven navigation using like “Rewards” and “Freedom”?

On the one hand, you’ve got just milliseconds to catch the visitor’s attention. And since they have to infer what the benefit is from those headlines, usability-wise, maybe the straightforward route is better.

On the other, the headline-like wording better captures the emotion of the aspirational appeal–plus, it’s unexpected, which is usually a good thing for piquing curiosity. So people may click through just to see what it says.

I’d love to test the two approaches and see how they perform.

But what do you think? Which do you think you’d be more likely to click on? I’d love to hear your thoughts…

(And no, I’m not affiliated with the company in any way.)

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